Sorry, but I need to vent.
I am being nibbled to death by mice.
And this morning a elephant landed on me.
*gurgle*
There are not enough hours in the day. There are not enough days in the week. There are not enough weeks in the year. Sometimes it feels as if I work all day every day, only to wind up further behind by the time the sun goes down, as more mice come swarming through the cracks and more elephants come lumbering through the doors.
I really really really need to learn to say No.
No, I will not come to your convention, thanks for asking.
No, I will not read your manuscript/ galley proof/ book, but good luck with that.
No, I will not write a story for your anthology, I am a year behind writing stories for my own anthologies.
No, I will not write a preface/ introduction/ foreword for your book.
No, I will not do an interview.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Such a simple word. Such a short word. Why do I have such trouble uttering it?
Once I give my word to attend a con/ write a story/ do an interview, I feel honor bound to deliver, to follow through, to make good my promise. But I give my word too often and too easily, I need to realize that. I do, I do, I DO realize that... on an intellectual level, but maybe not in my gut. And so while my brain is saying, "you can't do that, you do not have the time," my lips are saying, "sure, love to, sounds great."
I need to remember my mantra. One page at a time. One word at a time. One chore at a time. You cannot do everything today. Put out the biggest fire, the rest will still be burning tomorrow. No. No. No.
*sigh*
Thank you for listening. This too will pass. Tomorrow it won't seem so overwhelming.
Excuse me, I need to go step on some mice.
End of venting.
I am being nibbled to death by mice.
And this morning a elephant landed on me.
*gurgle*
There are not enough hours in the day. There are not enough days in the week. There are not enough weeks in the year. Sometimes it feels as if I work all day every day, only to wind up further behind by the time the sun goes down, as more mice come swarming through the cracks and more elephants come lumbering through the doors.
I really really really need to learn to say No.
No, I will not come to your convention, thanks for asking.
No, I will not read your manuscript/ galley proof/ book, but good luck with that.
No, I will not write a story for your anthology, I am a year behind writing stories for my own anthologies.
No, I will not write a preface/ introduction/ foreword for your book.
No, I will not do an interview.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Such a simple word. Such a short word. Why do I have such trouble uttering it?
Once I give my word to attend a con/ write a story/ do an interview, I feel honor bound to deliver, to follow through, to make good my promise. But I give my word too often and too easily, I need to realize that. I do, I do, I DO realize that... on an intellectual level, but maybe not in my gut. And so while my brain is saying, "you can't do that, you do not have the time," my lips are saying, "sure, love to, sounds great."
I need to remember my mantra. One page at a time. One word at a time. One chore at a time. You cannot do everything today. Put out the biggest fire, the rest will still be burning tomorrow. No. No. No.
*sigh*
Thank you for listening. This too will pass. Tomorrow it won't seem so overwhelming.
Excuse me, I need to go step on some mice.
End of venting.
- Current Location:home
- Current Mood:
stressed

Comments
Don't forget to take time for yourself too. Everyone wants to read what you are writing, but it won't be as wonderful if you are not there to witness the reactions.
Sorry, couldn't help myself. We love you man, and we'll continue to love you if you say no once in a while. Take care of yourself!
Sometimes saying no is the right thing to do.
OTOH, do you need a giant poster of Nancy Reagan saying, "Just say NO"? Or T-shirts for the folks you see every day? Because that would be easy to do.
Meanwhile, best of luck with it all....
Does it help to tell you everyone gets to this stage, even if they aren't famous, sought-after celebrity writers? Probably not. True anyway.
We all *want* to do it all, hence the trouble saying NO. When I say no, and feel badly about it, I try to remember that every NO I say to something that isn't a priority or a benefit to my life is a resounding YES to giving time and energy to the things I choose that are.
Of course, I suppose that sinks my theory that this all gets better with time...
I hope that you learn to listen to your own mantra, realize your own human constraints and put your own needs first for a change.
Good luck.
Stress is what happens when your gut says, "no," and your mouth says, "of course I'd be glad to."
The battle for 'yes' people to learn 'no' is a constant one, but just as I am supported knowing my idols struggle with it, I hope knowing that you are not alone helps you crush a few more mice. Annoying little buggers.
And at least get an industrial umbrella for the occasional elephant.
Edited at 2012-02-26 12:47 am (UTC)
May you succeed without it!
I understand that it is hard to say no-it is a problem I have myself, but, fortunately, I'm not being asked to do ALL these things that you are, but it is true - your life is your life and you need to make choices about how you will spend your precious time.
Or you could, I don't know, direct everyone that is asking you to this entry, which would do all the explaining by itself. I don't think I could ever read something like this and still ''demand'' from someone to do me a favour/give me an interview etc.
If you have several publicists trying to get you to commit through the publisher, HBO and who else you submit work to, then you need someone to wrangle your publicists. I'm sure your agent can suggest someone who can play wrangler for you for a small monthly retainer and so you are left free to work without having to fence the requests and be distracted with guilt for saying no or distracting you with cutting into your time because you didn't want to say no.
Not that I'm not over the moon that you're involved in the TV show (means it'll be closer to the books!), nor would I turn down any opportunity to see you at a convention, etc. But - if it's taking you away from the writing? Write. :-)
And maybe someday I'll take my own advice . . .
How right they are.
And the difficulty in saying "no" to those things is because they're all worth doing. It's easy to say "no" to trivial things. I suspect that George has such deep roots and affection for the fandom and writing profession that invitations to cons and assisting new writers are dear to his heart as something that he *should* be doing as something further along in the field. And that makes saying "no" hard. Another reason why it's difficult is because some of these invitations are round-about ways of people saying "hey, I like what you're doing." It's hard to say no when people are complimenting you.
But yes, saying "no" is oh-so important to protect your own time and to be able to fulfill your other obligations.
So, I can relate, and empathize.
Oh, and, get a cat.