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Winter Olympics

Parris and I watched a fair amount of the Winter Olympics. 'twas okay. Some stirring moments, some excitement, drama, grace, all that.

Some of these sports are silly, though. I mean, really. Two man luge? The top guy lying on the bottom guy, both of them flat on their backs, careening down an ice chute? Why not eight-man luge? Just stack 'em up, keeping the stack together would be real exciting.

And really -- this one is going to get me in trouble, I know -- if you don't know who won until some judge holds up a card or enters a number on a computer, it's not a sport. Now listen. I am not saying it doesn't require incredible skill, grace, strength, what have you. I am not saying the participants are not athletes, even. I am certainly not saying this stuff should not exist. But it's not a sport. I mean, really. Ice dancing? Dancing is an art. Has been an art for thousands of years. Doing it on ice doesn't change that. And when it's Russians dressed up as faux Australian aborigines or Americans ice dancing a Moldavian folk dance, it's REALLY not a sport.

All these judged "sports" are too subjective. A real sport may require umps or refs, but you know who won when the contest is over. We didn't have to sit around after the SuperBowl saying, "well, the Saints scored more points, but the Colts attempted more long passes, so their degree of difficulty was harder, and the judges will certainly give Dwight Feeney points for that triple spin move, even though he didn't get the sack. It could be close..."

I propose a new sport for the next Winter Olympics. A REAL sport. Ice football. Played exactly the same way as real (American) football, except everyone is on ice skates. I mean, we have field hockey and ice hockey, why not field football and ice football? Just think of the excitement as Peyton Manning skates backward to get off the pass and those speed skaters on the D-line come flashing after him while his wideouts do spins and triple axels trying to lose the CBs... most exciting sport EVER!!!



( 170 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 1st, 2010 07:11 am (UTC)
The sport you propose sounds like a nightmare, George!
Mar. 1st, 2010 10:44 pm (UTC)
Maybe, it was a joke. Tongue-in-cheek and all.
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:11 am (UTC)
You'd cull all the judged sports then? Ski jump, moguls, ski aerials, half pipe? And leave people earning Olympic medals for housework on ice. Oh yes, that's going to improve the event.
Mar. 1st, 2010 03:19 pm (UTC)
ski jump
Does anyone know why ski jump is judged at all? What is the point. See who can jump the farthest. THE END. We don't judge any other jumping events (long jump, high jump, etc.) so why this one?
Re: ski jump - escarboucle - Mar. 1st, 2010 05:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: ski jump - slyeagle - Mar. 1st, 2010 05:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: ski jump - nycfalcon - Mar. 1st, 2010 10:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:17 am (UTC)
Real football is what you would call soccer, not American football:)
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:47 am (UTC)
I heartily agree with the sentiment.

And Rugby played in snow is fun, but messy.
(no subject) - thoros_of_myr - Mar. 1st, 2010 10:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - skellington1 - Mar. 1st, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Real football - mrspicey - Mar. 1st, 2010 05:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Real football - jimmysnow - Mar. 2nd, 2010 12:33 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Real football - proudbronco - Mar. 2nd, 2010 08:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tmhalladay - Mar. 1st, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
"real" football.... - seidan1 - Mar. 6th, 2010 07:51 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:17 am (UTC)
I'm always confused by four man bobsled. I mean, three of those guys run for five seconds, jump in the sled, and then mainly keep their heads down for the next minute.

I also feel that cross country skiing is fairly boring, and should probably have some fencing with ski poles involved at some point, but that's just me.
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:52 am (UTC)
x-country skiing
Personally I think cross country skiing, speed skating, curling and ice hockey are the only thing worth following in the entire event. At least they DO something there. Slalom, Alpine, snowboard, lunges, yes there is skill and a great deal of technique going down a hill, but from there to an Olympic sport? Why not get then skateboarding, pipes, etc in the summer Olympics next? I guess is all about cultures, North Americans are not that great at x-country and Norwegians, we are not really into this Alpine/slalom business. I'll take a long 5-6 hour x-country hike any time over a day spend being pull by a T-bar to only go down for a few minutes at a time :).
(no subject) - rdore - Mar. 1st, 2010 08:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kishi - Mar. 2nd, 2010 03:32 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - amiastine - Mar. 1st, 2010 11:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - thorkell - Mar. 1st, 2010 02:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kishi - Mar. 2nd, 2010 03:30 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aulus_poliutos - Mar. 1st, 2010 03:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:31 am (UTC)
Olympic Games
I think this is why they're careful to call them the Olympic Games instead of the Olympic Sports. Though technically I agree with you. What about sports like curling? No score cards, but not really a "sport" either.
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:58 am (UTC)
Re: Olympic Games
When curling was still outdoors it was at least an endurance sport with skill needed to cope with wind and other factors. Indoor curling combines the least exciting qualities of bowling, shuffleboard, and the Zamboni run.
Re: Olympic Games - sophia8 - Mar. 1st, 2010 11:38 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Olympic Games - aaziz - Mar. 1st, 2010 02:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Olympic Games - geg - Mar. 1st, 2010 08:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Olympic Games - brian_kemp - Mar. 2nd, 2010 12:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:33 am (UTC)
Dear Mr. Martin,

Please do not judge me for this, as I am a real fanatic of your work and in case you'd hated me, I'd be heartbroken, but...
...American football isn't a real manly sport. I mean, common, there's teams and they switch them in and out and the game gets stopped so that the respective teams can move into the field and they keep stopping and stopping and stopping. And then, when you're really excited that something is happening, they stop again. And the players are all dressed up in all those protective clothes. No bloody noses, no nothing.
Watch some European football (not soccer). They play in their shorts. And they don't keep switching teams. They just go in and play till the last man stands!!
Mar. 1st, 2010 08:54 am (UTC)
at European Football - think you mean Rugby - they still wear real shorts... not the split kilts they use at Soccer.
I hate those, can still remember the real short shorts used quite some years ago.
(no subject) - nycfalcon - Mar. 1st, 2010 10:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bojojoti - Mar. 1st, 2010 09:37 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - saxster - Mar. 1st, 2010 10:05 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - thoros_of_myr - Mar. 1st, 2010 10:30 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jpashlock - Mar. 1st, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kishi - Mar. 2nd, 2010 03:34 am (UTC) - Expand
not a manly sport? - vieronymous - Mar. 1st, 2010 03:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:40 am (UTC)
Gaelic football on ice. That I'd watch!
Mar. 1st, 2010 10:33 am (UTC)
Ice skulley. Now that's a man's sport.
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:43 am (UTC)
I don't think I'll ever forget the Men's Curling final. When the crowd started singing O Canada I got goosebumps.
Mar. 2nd, 2010 07:37 am (UTC)
And I don't think I'll ever forget the women's Curling final ;)
When Canada made that one last final mistake that gave us Swedes the Gold medal... The crowd went mute... :)
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:49 am (UTC)
Purely out of curiosity, where does boxing fit in?
(no subject) - mitasova - Mar. 1st, 2010 07:54 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:54 am (UTC)
Ice rugby! Or real football, not that padded up, learn it from a playbook type :-)
Mar. 1st, 2010 07:55 am (UTC)
8 man luge would be awesome, they'd look like peas in a pod.
The Japanese 2 woman bob was georgeous though
Mar. 1st, 2010 08:17 am (UTC)
American football is not REAL football.

I should have thought it would be obvious from the name that the game which the unenlightened refer to as soccer is real football - which game involves more contact between ball and foot? :p
Mar. 1st, 2010 08:24 am (UTC)
Well, field hockey isn't a violent sport, but doing it on speed on ice makes it violent.
Field footbal IS violent, so if you do it on ice, I think you'd have to include the casualty rate in the scoring somehow :)
Mar. 1st, 2010 08:27 am (UTC)
Now, thats typically American. If you don't really know a sport that aint football, you just call it boring. Know what? I'm glad taht there's no such thing as winter-football.If there was, we would still wait for DANCE till the next millenia... No ofence...
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( 170 comments — Leave a comment )


George R.R. Martin
George R. R. Martin

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