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Westeros and the NFL

Everyone in the Seven Kingdoms is excited about the NFL playoffs.

The wildlings and the men of the Night's Watch and even some northmen are all pulling for the Giants, of course. But in the Vale of Arryn and the Mountains of the Moon, they're Falcons fans.

The Lannisters are cheering on Detroit, even if the lion is the wrong color, but some of the smallfolk of Lannisport on its western bay are fond of those 49ers. The High Septon and all the septa and septons and devout of the realm are for the Saints.

The butchers and tanners of King's Landing and Oldtown are behind the Packers, the smiths and armorers are with the Steelers. At the Citadel of Oldtown, the archmaesters and the Conclave are all about the Ravens, but across the narrow sea the khals and Dothraki horselords are screaming and whistling for the Broncos. In Volantis, the tigers are Bengals backers; the elephants are rooting for whoever plays the Bengals.

Nobody anywhere knows what a 'Texan' is, but a few Dornishmen might support them anyway, just to be perverse.

One commonality unites all the Seven Kingdoms, and the lands beyond. Everyone everywhere hates the Patriots, and Evil Little Bill.


( 134 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 4th, 2012 04:45 am (UTC)
If the Texans win the Super Bowl, will you write a Dornishman killing a tiger into Winds?

Jan. 4th, 2012 04:47 am (UTC)
Walder Frey is a Patriots fan. And if you ever want to cross, you'd better cheer for the Patriots!

He'll be making sure you cheer for them when you're invited to watch the game with him, on his flat screen, in his dusty, chilly great hall, surrounded by his children and grandchildren who constantly fetch him beer and chips.
Steven Lord
Jan. 4th, 2012 03:17 pm (UTC)
Walder Frey is not a Pats fan
He's in talks to field his own team (made up entirely of Freys, naturally) and turn the NFL into the IFL (Interdimensional Football League.) Of course, it's a toss up whether his team will be playing American football or the Games Workshop game Blood Bowl (where most players end their career in a body bag.)

The team name? The Twins Twins, of course (with apologies to Minnesota baseball fans.)
Re: Walder Frey is not a Pats fan - Peter Dougherty - Jan. 6th, 2012 06:05 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wenchpower - Jan. 4th, 2012 06:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 4th, 2012 05:01 am (UTC)
Love it. Go Big Blue!
Jan. 4th, 2012 06:23 am (UTC)

THIS from the guy who kicked off his ADWD book-signing tour in MASSACHUSETTS. :P
Jan. 4th, 2012 06:32 am (UTC)
Stannis for Pats
I know you hate the Pats, but can't you atleast give us someone, even Stannis will do! Bill is harsh and will cut anyone for not fitting the mold, Stannis will execute his own men for cannibalism when they are starving...
Jan. 6th, 2012 12:14 am (UTC)
Re: Stannis for Pats

Oh, I'm fairly certain the Bolton banners bleed Patriot red. =)
Jan. 4th, 2012 09:21 am (UTC)
Creativity like this is why I love you, George.
Jan. 4th, 2012 10:05 am (UTC)
Love it!
Somehow, I knew my Niners would be a hit in Lannisport. I guess I can understand why the Lannisters themselves would be rooting for the Lions, but I'm pretty sure Tywin would've been a big fan of the Bill Walsh dynasty. Innovation, smarts, starpower, and plenty of flash... all backed by the profligate spending of an owner who was never ashamed to do whatever it took in pursuit of a championship. Aside from mere colors and geography, I've always just had the sense that Lannisters and 49ers belonged together.
Jan. 4th, 2012 10:39 pm (UTC)
Re: Love it!
Re: Love it! - James Fotouhi - Jan. 9th, 2012 08:34 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 4th, 2012 10:17 am (UTC)
I heard the Red Priests don't really care for football but they will watch a Calgary Flames game every now and then. Is that true?
Jan. 4th, 2012 12:26 pm (UTC)
YAYYYYY Ravens and Oldtown! XD
Jan. 4th, 2012 01:33 pm (UTC)
Though I have never watched football games, this article is great
Jan. 4th, 2012 01:59 pm (UTC)
Game of Thrones etc. Spoiler Alert!
In regards to Belichick and the Patriots, it's important to remember that Robert Kraft and he had developed a close relationship when the Tuna was the Pats' Head Coach. Kraft had always tried to reacquire Lil' Bill.

Given the turn of events in Jets land, I'd dare say that I would also rather have worked for Kraft rather than Johnson. While I know that the late Mr. Leon Hess was by all accounts a decent man, I think everyone can plainly see that Woody Johnson is just one of those awful owners. He reminds me of the Wilpons except that he inherited 'real' money.

I would place the Pats' and Bill Belichick as more in the camp of the United Seven Kingdoms supporters a la Varys and Illyrio Mopatis, et al. They are the steady Eddies who no matter what always seem to have influence on the final outcome. And, instead of a Targaryen with dragons, they have a Brady with a Gronkowski, Welker and Hernandez.

Or, I suppose you could also put them in the camp of those 'bitches' who don't know when they are dead.
Jan. 4th, 2012 02:29 pm (UTC)
Haha, nicely done. I was going to ask who in Westeros would root for the Bears (had they made the playoffs), but that would of course be the Northmen and Mormonts of Bear Island.
Jure Mugerli
Jan. 4th, 2012 03:53 pm (UTC)
I hope we are not heading towards a Red Super Bowl :D
Tim van Kempen
Jan. 4th, 2012 04:07 pm (UTC)
learn football
I laughed, great post.

But i have to say, as a European i never was into NFL. This changed when I started reading the blog and moved to Boston about the same time.

So I now follow NFL even though i moved away from the USA. But i am a Pat's fan.
Jan. 4th, 2012 04:32 pm (UTC)
This may very well be the greatest post in the history of LJ. Also, go Packers! ;)
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( 134 comments — Leave a comment )


George R.R. Martin
George R. R. Martin

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