No. Sorry. I can't do it.
The Giants and the Jets both won today. The G-Men won a convincing victory over the Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Peoples, despite RGIII coming off the bench to play pretty well. Eli looked good, and Odell Beckham Junior continued to look great. The Jets won a wafer-thin victory over a truly awful Tennessee Titans team (hate that name, they should be the Nashville Cats), the same squad that the Giants crushed just last week... and even then, they almost blew it with one second left when the Titans tried one of those dipsy-doodle seven-lateral plays and came within seven yards of the winning TD. Even in victory, Geno Smith looked awful.
But it's hard to feel great about either win. The season is over for both teams. No one is going to the playoffs. Lots of people will be getting fired at year's end. Big Blue and Gang Green weren't even acting as spoilers; their opponents have awful records too. The Giants at least had the satisfaction of beating a division rival. The Jets? Not so much. No rivalry there. The Jets are awful, the Titans are awfuller. And by winning, the Jets dropped behind the Titans and four other teams in the draft, meaning their chances of getting Oregon's Heismann-winning quarterback just got a lot worse. That's the Jets for you. Even when they win, they lose.
The only real highlight of the day was the continued superlative play of Giants rookie wideout Odell Beckham Junior. The G-Men have had a number of good receivers over the years, but they have not had a GREAT one since... well, ever. (Okay, maybe Homer Jones, but he was a long time ago).